Losing you
by Reality is my illusion
Summary: Sasuke and Itachi are finally alone. They can love each other and all seemed to be perfect. Until the moment Itachi became increasingly distant.. How will Sasuke react and will their love win?


Losing you

It were now three years they lived together, as a happy couple. Since they left their parent's house, they felt free like birds and could love each other peacefully. For Sasuke it was a big deal : leave his parents and his home. He was old enough to take his own choices at that time he thought. He was just fourteen but he simply couldn't live without his Aniki. Today he still doesn't regret his choice. Itachi knew it would be hard to handle for his little baby brother in the first time, but he would do anything to help him to go through this. Because neither himself could live without Sasuke. They had shared the sweetest kisses and sinful nights together. Itachi was blessed with such a perfect little brother he always thought. Sasuke was the oxygen he needed to breath. Nothing would ever do them part. That was their dream.

Now, the younger Uchiha was sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast alone. Again. He hated it when his big brother went to busy and couldn't even take his breakfast with him. So he sat there, annoyed of the emptyness that filled the room. Standing up to take his bag and going out to school, he was trapped in his thoughts: how long would Itachi take to come home tonight? Would he send him a message to excuse for his early absence? Would he think of him just one time today? With who was he talking right now? And endless questions like these. That was the begining of all the problems.

It wasn't Itachi's work that kept him apart but rather the evenings he spent with his colleagues. At least, that was what Sasuke thought. At the very beginning he didn't mind too much but his jealousy became stronger everytime Itachi was everywhere but not by his side. Sometimes he was rather angry but it turned early into sadness. He stared at his big brother's phone everytime he got a call or a message, he followed him the half way to his meeting places, read all the letters and whatever he got between his hands. But he never went to far and never showed a single clue of how hurt he was of Itachi's behavior. Never Sasuke thought that his big brother would lose this much interest in him. Countless times he sat on the floor, his back turned against the bed, crying his eyes out. He could cry whenever and how long he wanted because the elder came home late anyway. The feelings of emptyness and loss inside of him went stronger. And soon he couldn't hold back the envy of cuting his milky white skin. The amout of scars was already great. To hide it from Itachi he wore always long sleeves and he didn't even notice, to Sasuke's relief. The sleepless nights he had spent with sobbing and crying his brother's name desperatly, sometimes even with a hatefull voice. But never ever he would assume Itachi that he suffered like hell from the increasing distance between them.

He thought too much and pointless thoughts the most part of time. And it went on like that for a few months more. Until the day Itachi brought a good friend and colleague of his home. He invited him to eat dinner and so they sat at table, the two friends laughing at each other's jokes. It was already an insult to Sasuke that someone else was the reason of Itachi's smile because he rarely smiled, but on top oft hat they seemed to ignore him very well. Every laugh was like one more knife in Sasuke's heart. And his heart was already bleeding out. How Itachi dared he doing this to him? Was it all a fucking joke? Was he testing him? "Sasuke." He suddenly heard his brother's voice. „Would you please let us a few minutes alone? We need to talk over some work plans.." He thought his heart would almost burst into thousand pieces. This wasn't the Itachi he knew anymore. „ Sure" he said with a bitter voice. He glared at them and walked to the bedroom.

There, he didn't hold back any longer the overwhelming emotions. He let them all out. All the pain and tears he tried to supress all this time. Tears rolled down his cheeks. How many times would his heart bear the pain again? How could the kind-hearted, lovingly, gorgeous Itachi do this to him? What had he done for? It's been five months that it goes like this now. Sasuke wondered from where he had the strenght to keep going a relationship like this. He released himself like always with the razor blade and let the physical pain take over his mind. Suddenly he felt very tired of crying that much and fell asleep, his last tears rolling down on the floor. When he woke up, he cursed himself of falling asleep like this when he saw Itachi's deeply shocked expression. „Sasuke! Sasuke, answer me!" he heard him scream with a weeping voice. „Why did you do that?!" he continued, staring at his little brother with widened turned his back and tried to escape his brother's grip but he was stronger, obviously. „Let me go" the younger said with a low but firm voice. ʽʽNo Sasuke. Explain me why you did this ? Are you aware of what you just did ?̦ ̦ Itachi's voice was almost angry now. Were he fucking fooling him? That was it. „WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT I DO? IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS ANYMORE! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I FEEL. OR FELT ALL THE TIME! GO PARTY WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" he yelled at the other. Itachi was appalled. The situation was beyong all he thought would possibly happen. „Sasuke..". Angry tears rolled down the younger's face.

He started sobbing. „Sasuke… please… tell me what I did wrong?" his voice almost borke when he felt the need to cry too. He never saw his baby brother like this and it broke his heart. Sasule couldn't hold back much longer: „Why did you do this to me? Why do you want to hurt so much?" Itachi's eyes widened. Wait a second. He hurt his beloved Otouto? The world froze for a moment. Never ever he would dare to hurt Sasuke. He would always protect him so why hurt him? He looked afraid by now. „Please Sasuke! Tell me what I did wrong! I'm so sorry, but please stop crying!" For God's sake, what did he do what hurt Sasuke so bad? Sasuke raised slowly his gaze towards Itachi. „You don't understand nothing. You work much but that's not the point. The free time you have after work, you rather spend it with your colleagues than with me! I'm always alone! You only used to smile when you were with me but now you only smile with your friends anymore.. You completely lost interest in me. And now you even invite then eating dinner with us to only laugh with them and ignore me. On top oft hat you wanted to be alone with that guy and God knows what you two did.." His voice became quiter with every word. He could get rid of Itachi's grip and went some steps away from him. He still cried very much.

The past months went trhough the elder's mind like a flash. He suddenly understood. He approached Sasuke and began: "Sasuke, let me explain you all that. You understood it all wrong-„ but he got cut off sharply. „What is there to explain? Nothing anymore!" Sasuke sobbed. „I didn't go out with my friends all the time to just amuse me.". Sasuke looked at him. „It's true, sometimes I went out to party a bit. But these occasions were rare. I often had to meet them outdoors for work reasons. When I went home from work to went out again, where you thought I was going to have some fun, I was working extra hours willingly. I never thought it'd affect you so much and I'm truly sorry, Otouto. And that guy from before didn't stay for long. I just couldn't tell you what we were talking about when he was there because basically I wasn't allowed to tell you anything at all about my job. But I have nothing to hide from you. I planned on telling it you later but I found you like this. Will you ever forgive me, Sasuke ? " He looked at him with sadness in his eyes. He was truly sorry about all that misunderstanding and now tears blurred his sight.

At the sight of his brother's breaking façade he felt even worse. He didn't know that Itachi worked more. But he still had a question stuck in his throat. „ If you worked extra hours.. willingly.. You didn't want to spent more time with me so?" he said with a trembling voice. „No ! Never. I mean, you came from school and you already worked hard in school to be the best. And then you got homework too. I thought it would be better if you had time for you and homework without me fisung around." Sasuke felt much more relieved and even a bit happiness excelled in his facial features. But right now he felt guilty and ashamed about his thoughts and behavior. He knew he had to apologize. „I'm sorry Nii-san… I shouldn't have yelled at you like this. I just couldn't shut my feelings any longer." The elder smiled a bit now and raised his arms to embrace his Otouto. Sasuke came closer and they hugged each other tightly. „I'm sorry too, Sasuke. I should have talked with you and told you the truth before taking decisions on my own." Both found their smile again. „You are the only one who will ever be able to make me smile that way. I love you more than anything in this world.". Sasuke blushed and leaned to kiss him. „I love you more than anything too, Nii-san." That night Sasuke could sleep peacefully again. Since that day, Itachi stopped working extra hours to spend all his free time with he beloved Otouto.

One day after school, when Sasuke entered their appartment, he smelt the smell of tomatoes. He instinctively followed the smill until the kitchen when he saw his aniki standing there, cooking his favorite food: tomato soup. He saw the prepared table with candles and rose petals as well. A bright smile played on his lips and he ran embracing his brother. „Itachi, that's one of the best days in my life. ". He looked at him then tot he table again. „I can't thank you enough. It's been such a long time that you cooked my favorite food and prepared such a romantic dinner!". Itachi looked at his baby brother's amazed expression and smiled. „I would do anything you want, Sasuke, as long as you're happy." They enjoyed a very sensual night after dinner..


End file.
